Sorry guys I just have to vent.

My wife and I have been letting her brother stay in our home rent free. The guy is a real piece of work. He is wearing on my last nerve. This morning I told my wife if he keeps his BS up, I’m going to throw him out.

Now my wife is not talking to me. I told her may be your brother but enough is enough A few days ago my BIL and I went to a local pub for a couple beers. One guy that frequents the pub has turrets syndrome. The guy has plenty of issues.

The guy was walking by our table and said hello to me and wanted me to give him a fist bump as a handshake. I said hi and gave him a fist bump. My BIL was across the table from me. I said to the guy this is my BIL. Now the guy with turrets syndrome wants to give my BIL a fist bump. So, my BIL did.

So far so good after the guy walks back to the bar. My BIL says to me if you ever do that to me again, I’m going to punch you in the face. Now it gets even better my BIL tries to intimidate by leaning across the table sticking his face in the middle of the table staring at me.

I had to laugh and I told my BIL look next time you want to F with me don’t sing it bring it. And then told my BIL he has mental issues. I really regret now punching him in the face with his nonsense. When we arrived at my home, I told the guy again next time you feel froggy leap. It has been three days since this happened.

He now just ignores me walks by me and acts as is I was not in the room. Plus, he is kissing my wife’s ass big time. Anyone else have a BIL that is a piece of work?

The more I think about the BS my BIL pulled the angrier I become. He may be gone by this evening I just told my wife he is your brother not my blood. And I’m not going to take his BS.

 

How long has he been with you and how long does he intend to stay? but either way it seems things have came to a head, so you need to locate two things that seem absent, trousers and balls. Start wearing the trousers and have the balls to tell him that he's out. Simples!

 

I have a BIL who is a piece of work as well. Fortunately for me, he lives about 4,000 kms from me, and my arms aren’t long enough.

 

You can pick your friends, but families, well that's another matter.

 

Your fault for going to the pub with him.

 

My sense is that you, in your own home, have to trump your BIL with your wife. Find out how long he intends to stay, and if you can't stomach it, he has to go, despite your wife's anger. She'll eventually get over it, and if not, seek out some counseling for the both of you.

 

My BIL has been staying with my wife and I close to three years. My wife feels sorry for him so I go along with the program. When I get ticked off my wife defends him and will say her brother is diabetic. That may be so. But as far as I’m concerned, the guy also has mental issues.

A little over a year ago I threw the guy out around three in the morning he was talking smack. I lost it and told him to get the F out he did. Came back the next evening crying and said he had no place to go. My wife gave me a con job talking me me into letting him back into our home.

Big mistake on my part. My BIL has to be one of the laziest people I have ever met. He took it upon himself to take the trash cans to the curb on trash collection day. That night in the pub he was whining about the trash cans are heavy. I told him spare me the BS.

Then I told him you have to be the laziest white person I ever met. No wonder you can’t hold a job. The trash cans are even on wheels.

This morning I took the trash cans to the curb. I know that was a mistake on my part. However, it beats having to listen to his BS. I just told my wife I raised three children and I’m not about to take on another. I told her he is your brother. You need to talk to him and tell him to fly right or get out. If not, I will and it will not be pleasant.

 

I feel for you, lousy situation.

I will add, though, that lazy, stupid, ignorant, racist assholes come in all colors and genders.

 

Face it. He's not leaving. And he's walking all over you and your wife allows it.

You're posting this because you know you need to be told exactly this.

So there it is. Its out in the open.

If you throw him out, it will get a little worse before it gets better, but it will be far worse for you if he stays. He will threaten you more, he will take perverse joy in turning your wife against you.

BUT HE NEEDS TO LEAVE, RIGHT NOW.

Deal with the aftermath but it WILL start to get better after he's gone.

This is not a 'hope it gets better' situation. Its been three years so you know it won't get better. The reason is that he resents you for taking him in and giving nothing back. He feels shame for himself and he blames you. THAT WONT CHANGE.

 

This is what heppens when chaps decide to modify a good old fashioned British handshake!

A lovely family story and I've picked out the bits that are a source of concern.

A lot of over familiar, confrontational behaviour going on here. I recommend formal greetings and any, extra marital, kisses should be restricted to a polite 'peck' on the cheek. Definitely not on your good lady's bottom.

P. S.
Is his name Bill or BIL?

 

And then he took your 3 mint condition Ed Whites and did a runner?!?!

Okay I may have added to the story in my head.

Shame about the shituation though.
You’re going to need to get your wife on side before throwing him out.

Happy wife, happy life.

 

A little background on my BIL prior to him staying with my wife and I. He lived with his other sister and her husband. He freeloaded on them for almost eight years. My other BIL gave him several thousand dollars to move out of state.

He was gone for about a year then came back. Into my wife’s and I life. My wife’s sister must have told her it’s your turn in the barrel. I’m not about to pay the guy to leave however I’m sure he will be gone shortly if not sooner.

 

It seems that your wife (and you) are enabling his disfunction. In the long run you are not helping him. If your wife figures this out, she may come around to your side. I suggest you consider a couple's therapist. An objective third party could help the situation.

 

Too bad you have children as the more complete resolution would be to leave both wife and BIL altogether. It seems like it has arrived at a point where you essentially have to say “it’s me or my BIL” to your wife and be prepared to let the chips fall as they may.

 

BIL = Brother In Law or have I missed the sarcasm

 

I doubt you want to leave your wife, but you have to stand firm on your feelings about BIL. A therapist can help your wife understand this, and that enabling BIL is not worth impact it has on you. I am sure you have told her this, but taking it through a consuler could help.

 

Your fault for letting him stay for 3 years

Next thing you will be telling us he has he’s own room....

 

Sounds like a nightmare. Kick him out fast. If it turns out that your wife loves your BIL more than she loves you, maybe you should think thoroughly through if she´s the woman you should have by your side

 

I really hoped you missed the sarcasm or else the first post was

 

Just trying add a bit of light humour to the situation Martin.

I have to say, this kind of over use of acronyms worries me. To reach the point where an individual is either too busy, or can't be bothered, to write whole words is not healthy. It opens up a whole world of, potential, misunderstanding.