Let’s just say a someone you know broke some fingers at an old job that required a couple surgeries. Fortunately this person only lost about 10% use of a couple fingers. Anyway workman’s Comp offered this person some money to shut up. The issue is a little more complex as this person may require another surgery but that part has been worked out. So anyway if this poor slob I’m talking about really wanted an smp. It’s kinda his grail and if this guy used some of that money to purchase an smp without telling his significant other would you consider this guy to be unethical and not cool? The guy isn’t a bum or anything he works and does other stuff, can’t do what he used to do because of the hand issue but worked things out despite himself. I am just asking for a friend as he said something about the devil and an angel whispering in his ear at the same time, not sure what he meant of course.

 

Just out of curiosity, what do you think your friend's SO would say if he did tell her his plan? Because I don't think it would go unnoticed.

 

Ya, as far as I know he is scheming on that one in his head as we speak but I have yet to hear a definitive answer that makes sense yet. And if he did lay out the whole plan to his SO I’m thinking it would be a resounding negative response

 

I mean a man’s gotta be able to know what time it is regardless of how disabled he is, right? I’d say this was an essential piece of technology and therefore exactly what the compensation is intended for.

 

Part of the joy of owning a watch is sharing it with others. Witness the WRUW threads and threads on recent purchases. He will miss out on a significant part of that joy if he cannot share it with the most significant person in his life.

 

It's not something I would do. That's just me.

 

Generally workman's compensation does not offer funds for pain and suffering, but, this case seems unusual, as you state,"workman's Comp offered this person some money to shut up." Personally, in my opinion, if the individual was offered this money "to shut up", it is his money to do with as he pleases, whether to buy a watch for himself, get jewelry for the wife, or invest in a mutual fund. As it seems no conditions were placed on the funds rewarded by the insurance company, I see no issues with any devil and angels on his shoulders, nor any ethical concerns. I hope your friends enjoys his watch and wears in good health for years to come.

Now to the second issue... not telling his significant other. If they aren't married, not a problem in my opinion, however, if they are married, it is another matter and many factors come into play. If they as a couple have pressing financial problems, I could definitely understand why the wife might get upset with her husband spending money on a luxury item. If all is good at home, then the wife might be happy for her husband to purchase a watch that brings him joy. My question to you is... why does he not want to tell his significant other? Answer that question and you'll have your answer.

My 2 cents worth.

 

^^ well stated

 

I think he'll lose the other 90% of use of his fingers if he doesn't tell his SO.

 

And maybe something else....

 

I grew up in a very traditional, rural area, typically married at 19-21, kids by 25-30, church on Sundays, etc. Very very 'wholesome'.

After graduation and a lot of other stuff I worked in Los Angeles in tech and entertainment business for about 5 years, and the disparity between what is morally 'right' where I grew up and what is at least 'ok' in L.A. are so vast in some cases I would literally give up trying to tell friends back home about different things - they were often either shocked or outright disbelieved me.

My point in regard to your friend is; if they have a relationship where each is entirely private to themselves, he might be okay. In the hills I once asked a friend of mine "Where did she get the new Mercedes?" about his wife's new car, his response was to shrug and say "I gave her like fifty thousand for Christmas, maybe that's it," and go back to his video game - it was July.

Personally, would I keep it to myself? No. But have I seen not just instances but entire relationships - that actually worked to whatever degree - full of this kind of thing. So your friend really needs to ask himself, what does he value more: having his dream watch, or having his SO 'in on it' with him? I mean, it's ALWAYS fun to get a new watch. But, and maybe I'm a sentimentalist - it's a lot MORE fun to buy the watch of your dreams with the woman (or guy) of your dreams alongside.

That's my rambling two cents.

 

How much of this extra money is your friend using? If it's a small percentage it might not be as much of an issue.

 

When it comes to marriage I rarely think about being ethical or cool haha

If he is concerned his wife wouldn’t be ok with him purchasing a watch he should ask himself this question: What is driving my concern, and what is driving hers?

Maybe she doesn’t actually care if he got a new watch. He’s just overthinking it. Maybe she already bought him one and so she’s trying to stop him from duplication. Maybe their financials aren’t great, or they won’t be great in the near future. Maybe they’ve got other plans that need some dedicated funds. Maybe she doesn’t want his desire for a watch to drive a poor settlement. Or maybe she is just controlling and mean, in which case he should buy the watch.

Bottom line, just talk to your wife.

 

If this injury is going to hinder employment and future earnings, pour gas on an already dire financial situation then HELL NO. On the other hand if it’s a windfall from pain and suffering, why not? I’m not one to lecture about informing ones SO about watch purchases.

 

no not at all. The guy is back in his old field of employment. There is no current financial crisis nor can one be seen on the horizon but if my friend could tell the future none of this would mean anything anyway. The guys wife grew up in a different country. One where food wasn’t always available. Although his wife is fine now, she got an academic scholarship to an Ivy League college I think the past stuck with her a bit and purchases like a watch are just something I don’t think she will ever get behind. This same guy also bought Tesla shares years ago against his wife’s wishes and is now being scolded for not buying more. So I do think it’s best to advise people to always be honest, it is much easier to live life without regret and not trying to keep track of a bunch of lies, something that is hard to do as it’s very difficult to remember clearly that which didn’t happen, especially when you told someone in detail it did. The Bard said “to thine own self be true, unfortunately he added do not be false to others along with that. There is also that killer line in the Bible that says it quite clearly, let your yes be yes, and your no be no. It’s hard to get around that one. Anyway if the guy does get the watch at least he can track time in purgatory

 

By the way, the dude sent me this. This is some as his fingers as they healed up. The tips were completely shattered. Almost lost one

 

Damn sorry his cat popped in, damn thing

 

Your friend could tell his wife that he will sell a watch to even the scales.

 

I’m assuming he is not a focused collector, and thus the smp will not look indistinguishable from the others and thus can’t be snuck into rotation unnoticed....bummer. Worse bummer are the loss of finger functionality. Wishing him a speedy recovery and all the best.

Best thing to do imho would be to come up with a bulletproof argument to convince the SO...as this question has to be asked it thus appears a given she is not in support of his hobby...

 

For my wife and I, budgeting is a major factor in our financial planning and hitting our life goals. We pool our salaries as well as our debts, so its pretty important for us to be in sync on inflows/outlows so we know whether we will meet our financial goals. Hiding a watch purchase seems impossible, she's eventually going to see it, and personally would kill the joy if I needed to hide it. My last watch purchase we debated at length, and eventually built it into our yearly expense budget.

So I think asking whether its "unethical and not cool", is looking for rationalization of the here and now decision, but I think the larger question to be asked is: what kind of financial relationship do I want/need with my significant other to achieve our life goals, and how does this decision impact that?