DOH! Horological faux pas during conversation…please share stupid stuff that you’ve said.

I Do😁 Three times😗

Not so much something I said as something I did - in my early days of getting into high end watches, I was invited by an OB staff member to inspect the dial of a grey side of the moon... and put in the loupe back to front.

I'm still recovering from the sense of imposter syndrome whenever I enter one of those places 🤦

Any and every time I've ever said Jaeger-le-Coultre 😁

Never had a horological faux pas because I don't really get the opportunity to fυck up in public because I see so little (except Apple watches) but this will defo make you feel better-

about 10 years ago I am playing a festival in NYC and during soundcheck I see, pretty damn sure at that, what has to be an old girlfriend milling about in the closed off auditorium, "maybe she's working with the crew, maybe got in early with a pass, who knows but it's definitely her!".
So we finish getting levels on the drums and I jet to center stage where there's a mic for the saxophonist and tap it with a finger, yep live, and very loudly say, "Hey YOU. YEAH, YOU!! YOU IN THE GREEN SHIRT AND JEANS, YOU!"
She is pretty far back in the auditorium, place seats about 2000, but she hears it, startles and looks up toward the stage.
I continue, "ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE? WHERE'S YOUR LANYARD AND PASS?"
She's turning pale and then starts sweeping her hair behind her ears with her hands - gotta be her because this is precisely what she always did when nervous while we dated - and now everyone in the place is staring at her.
I hear this tiny, unamplified, mincy voice, "I have credentials. Sorry, they are in my pocket," as she starts fishing them out.
While doing so, I go really loud with, "HELLO KIM... SOMEONE HAS BEEN UP TO THE DEVIL'S WORK EH?" because her belly is sizeably huge.
And I then get this in return, "OH MY GOD! IS THAT YOU SCOTT?!" And much less loud but still audible on stage, "Ummm, no. I just got really fat."

It was so painful and embarrassing... I hop off stage and met her a few rows in. And even though we hugged, caught up with one another for a minute I didn't know what to say the entire time we conversed. I couldn't really even focus on the details of the conversation because all I kept thinking was, "I need to apologize. How the fυck do I even broach this?"
Finally at the end of our short reunion we hugged again and I said, "I am really truly sorry about the comment that you were expecting a baby. I feel awful."
She forgave me and that was that but man what a tremendous epic fυck up on my part.

I was once processing a passenger at the airport (going through his bag) and he asked what I was looking for…
I said without thinking “the brick you brushed your hair with”
He actually thanked me and mentioned he was meeting his wife’s parents for the first time…. Fixed his hair and carried on
Work colleague standing next to me just laughed and said “ only you, could get away with that”

Not a conversation exactly, but I believe that the title of my very first thread on OF years ago was “Help Me Value My Speedmaster.” After the initial drubbing from a few of our less patient members, I’m still grateful to several kindler and gentler members who took me aside via PM and helped me learn the ropes. As a more experienced member now, I try to pass along the same gentle advice to new members who make the same error with their first posts that I did.

You have to be really careful with those Rolex watches. They’re handmade by elves, you know. 🙄

I've learnt to temper my excitement about seeing another mechanical watch in the wild and instantly striking up conversations after several "is that a ...?" when it really isn't scenarios. Last one was a guy serving in a local pub and I couldn't quite make out what he was wearing but was convinced it was a Navitimer.

"Nice Breitling mate".
"Eh?"
"Nice Breitling"
"What?"
"Your watch - it's a Breitling isn't it?"
"Oh. This? It's a Rotary"
"Oh... nice. I'll have 3 beers please"

Exit stage left, tail between legs.

Hey, it wasn't that bad! 😀

Help me value my Speedmaster ... | Omega Forums

No, it wasn’t. More kind replies than the other way around. Still, a dumb first post on my part.

Noob days: Proudly posted a redialed Longines i saw in a rather notorious vintage shop on the sub forum. Rightly got my ears boxed.

I don't think it was dumb at all mate.

Thanks, Al.