Just wondering what other members would do if this happened to them?
I had agreed to sell a watch to a member, price negotiated, payment method agreed upon, and then nothing. A month later, I'm a little miffed.
Do you "out" a member for this behaviour?
You're right of course to feel miffed. But definitely don't call them out, primarily for two reasons.
1) Almost all the inter-personal troubles we face in life - with significant others, parents, siblings - boil down to this exact premise."I would never have done X", or "If I were Y, I would definitely have done Z". We say these things to ourselves all the time, and too often out loud.
The problem is we say these things standing, well, where we have always and will always stand, in our own shoes - with *our* faculties/values/resources/perspectives/obligations as they are - shaped by many factors, but specific to our own realities and capabilities as human beings.
It's funny actually,...no one ever looks at an Olympic athlete turning in a gold-level performance, and then turns to their partner and says..."You know - that jump she just made... you should really be able to do that!" But we do the same thing
all the time with feats of emotion, cognition, and character. Because *I* am capable of right-thinking here, you should be as well.
This is the well-travelled road to ruin of almost every failed relationship - from a very casual business relationship, to the most important relationship you can imagine.
2) There are any number of real human frailties or tragedies that unfortunately do strike people every day, and could legitimately prevent/delay the most well-intentioned person from getting back to you...ever. Allow the possibility of these to evoke ...er...let's call it "preemptive compassion", not anger. A lab test from the doctor. A drunk driver. The illness of a child. The loss of a dream job. A depression.
Sure, odds are it is none of these things - odds are they realized this was financially more than they could handle right now, but were too ashamed to admit it. But the point is, you don't know. And as long as you don't know, you'll feel better and sleep better just giving this person the benefit of the doubt.
So I think you are well within your rights to be annoyed, but my advice is to move on. Definitely think twice before resuming a dialog if they pop-up again, and remember you can re-use much of what you wrote or photographed in another mail to another interested buyer down the line,...it's not time completely wasted.
As I tell my 12 year old daughter, when she feels dragged into drama at school between groups of friends - "Honey, please don't stir the pot."
