Took me a sec...Sunny and Share. Well done!

 

Actually, Sonny and CHER. Well done!

 

Geez.... don't yell at me Bob, but are these jokes or riddles?

If Lassie screwed a cantaloupe, what would you have?


A melon-collie baby!

 

What do blondes and tornado's have in common?

They always end up in trailer courts!

 

I have read that Lassie was a girl!

 

We gotta talk about the Lassie/Laddie and screwin' thing, brother.

 

I was going to suggest Jimmy doily. But Cagney and Lacey makes better sense.

 

Famous comedy duo. Who are they?

 

Technically, you could argue they are not, but as puns, or a play on words, they could be loosely classified under the riddle umbrella.

The problem is, as you noted yourself, that the jokes here are starting to get repeat tellings, because after a while, many of the available jokes have been used. So I thought I'd mix it up a tad with a little combo pun/puzzle. Had no idea the comedy police would be banging at my front door...

 

Yeah! Them bastards!

 

Damn you! Couldn't get that one. Was thinking: what the hell comedy team is wreath and venom?

 

For the comedy traditionalists:

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed byPepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails’,'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on
breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2025, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them

 

Well, the title of the thread is "Tell me a joke" not "Riddle me this" and these posts are clearly not jokes.

Maybe you should start a new thread as a way of satisfying everyone...the Riddler and the "comedy traditionalists"...

 

The riddles are amusing, but I can't exactly re-tell and pass them off as my own at the pub or in my WhatsApp groups.

 

"When I was a kid, I once shop-lifted a thesaurus. But then I felt so guilty, so sorry, so remorseful, so shameful, so repentant—so I returned it."

 

i guess that might have been a bit too obvious, clue-wise.

 

Now, that's funny..

 

Good - glad I could add something funny to a thread recently filled with riddles.