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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

  1. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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    Bingo!
     
  2. Canuck Dec 14, 2019

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    Porky Pig, and Henrietta Leaver. Why is the association reportedly so obvious? She looks more like Bess Myerson, Miss America 1945.

    Or Bess Myerson, winner in 1945.

    668563D6-49C2-43E1-833A-982A83704257.jpeg
     
  3. GeorgeBailey2 Dec 14, 2019

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    c49b1f87-816b-4c3e-81f0-bc7493efeeea_text.gif
     
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  4. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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    Okay, next round. Name the famous duo:

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  5. BlackTalon This Space for Rent Dec 14, 2019

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    Ugh, that's bad.

    Questionable if anyone not living in the US in the 70s/ early 80s would remotely have a clue.
     
  6. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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    Hey, it's free, and it's the best I got :)
     
  7. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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    Part III:

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  8. Canuck Dec 14, 2019

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    Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss) and Jim Carrey?
     
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  9. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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    Getting warm...
     
  10. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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    Part four: name the famous duo:

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    image.jpeg

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  11. Judder007 Dec 14, 2019

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    James Bond walks into a bar and starts flirting with a beautiful woman. He shows her his watch and says ‘This watch is no ordinary timepiece. It’s telling me that you are wearing no underwear’. The woman rolls her eyes and says ‘Well your watch is wrong’. Bond looks at his watch and says ‘You’re right, It’s an hour fast’.
     
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  12. GeorgeBailey2 Dec 14, 2019

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    The first one is Bonnie and Clyde.

    The second? I don't recognize the first person (not Rockefeller or Ford) and can't think of anything that clearly goes with the second (either Varney or "Ernest")

    Roger's & Hammerstein
     
    Edited Dec 14, 2019
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  13. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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    Well, at least someone is getting them...
     
  14. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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    Part 5:

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  15. redpcar Dec 14, 2019

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    upload_2019-12-14_17-32-13.png
     
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  16. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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  17. M'Bob Dec 14, 2019

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    Part 7:

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  18. GeorgeBailey2 Dec 14, 2019

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    Rocky and Bullwinkle

    You must have gotten your Christmas shopping done early, as, apparently, you seem to have some time on your hands.

    As an aside to the Hall & Oates above, I watched a show on Amazon Prime. I don't recall the name of the show but it stars the two female comedians that do songs who call their act "Garfunkel and Oates" (look up the song "Fadeaway" on YouTube, they're somewhat funny and the brunette played a recurring character on Big Bang). Anyway, they got John Oates to play a character on the show, which I thought was interesting considering their act is a play off of second fiddles. We'll see if they can get Art Garfunkel.
     
    Edited Dec 14, 2019
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  19. redpcar Dec 14, 2019

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  20. STANDY schizophrenic pizza orderer and watch collector Dec 15, 2019

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    An 85 year old couple were married almost 60 years before they both died. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.
    When they reached the pearly gates, St Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and spa. As they looked in awe, the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

    “It’s free,” Peter replied. “This is Heaven.”
    Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed on to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the greatest golf courses on Earth.
    The old man asked: “What are the green fees?”
    Peter’s reply: “This is Heaven, you play for free.”

    Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine’s of the world laid out.
    “How much to eat?” asked the old man.
    “Don’t you understand yet? This is Heaven, it is free!” Peter replied with some exasperation.
    “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?” the old man asked timidly.

    Peter lectured: “That’s the best part, you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.”
    With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
    The old man looked at his wife and said: “This is all your fault. If it weren’t for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!”
     
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