Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

The difference between humour and a bad smell? Humour is a shift of wit!

Hey, who masked that pony???

😉

I was talkin' to Col (@nonuffinkbloke) this mornin' over a pint down at the Durdle Door Inn.

Told me his Peruvian bride went to Aldi to buy new linen for the bed as they had a great special on.

On arriving home he asked her how she got on...

"I've got the sheets!"

"What about?"

Having some winter fun with your friend's car:

Sounds like the guy who wanted to engage me in fisticuffs over his road rage. He told me I might benefit from an anger management course he had taken four times. I told him maybe he should take it again, even though I doubted he’d pass. Boy was he pi$$ed!

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.


The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,


"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.


"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says...


"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

Moral of this story...


Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.