Top ten Tommy Cooper Jokes.
1.Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
3. I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
4. Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
5. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
6. A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
7. A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
8. A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'.
The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.
9. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
10. Slept like a log last night ........ woke up in the fireplace.
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