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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

  1. Wryfox Apr 7, 2020

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    OmegaRookie, MaiLollo, M'Bob and 3 others like this.
  2. blufinz52 Hears dead people, not watch rotors. Apr 7, 2020

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    "Woman who flies plane upside down has crack up."
     
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  3. DaveK Yoda of Yodelers Apr 7, 2020

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    And in British Columbia, this gets the point across

    4DA20B46-B5E3-44F0-AB37-AEE660484C53.jpeg
     
  4. Buck2466 Apr 7, 2020

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  5. Buck2466 Apr 7, 2020

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  6. Canuck Apr 7, 2020

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    Reminds me of the time We were at a local rodeo. There was a refrigerated exhibit of a life sized horse sponsored by a dairy. The horse was sculpted in butter. It occurred to me to ask my spouse what spread she thought it might be from!::rimshot::
     
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  7. JimInOz Melbourne Australia Apr 8, 2020

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    The Bar T?

    :coffee:
     
  8. lindo Apr 9, 2020

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    DIVORCED BARBIE

    One day as a father leaves work to go home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

    He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'

    The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach
    Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

    The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 andthe others only $19.95?'

    The salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir... Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls’.
     
  9. Canuck Apr 9, 2020

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    E24B524B-C639-4696-B931-0E7A552066AD.jpeg
    She stopped me just in time! “It’s my pin cushion, she said”.
     
    Edited Apr 9, 2020
    lindo likes this.
  10. Buck2466 Apr 9, 2020

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  11. Buck2466 Apr 11, 2020

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  12. lindo Apr 12, 2020

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    A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport in Sydney.

    After it reached cruising altitude the captain announced over the PA system, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number xyz, non-stop from Sydney to Auckland. The weather ahead is good and we should have smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH, MY GOSH!"

    After a few breathless minutes, the captain came back on the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you but while I was talking, the flight attendant spilled a hot cup of coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

    A passenger in Economy loudly announced, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
     
  13. West Slope Apr 12, 2020

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    Apologies if posted previously but I looked and didn't see it.

    A simple lesson in economics

    Why the economy needs a Stimulus Package:

    It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle, and streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.

    A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.

    As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

    The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

    The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.

    The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

    The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.

    The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.

    At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.

    No one produced anything. No one earned anything.......

    However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.

    *And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a Stimulus package works*
     
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  14. Pun Apr 12, 2020

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    Worth reading again, and again and again.
     
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  15. Archer Omega Qualified Watchmaker Apr 12, 2020

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    Yes, see if you can spot the logic fail...
     
  16. Pun Apr 12, 2020

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    In present scenario anything giving comfort is good, Sir. Regards
     
  17. DaveK Yoda of Yodelers Apr 12, 2020

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    Prostitution isn’t legal in Pumphandle SK?
     
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  18. Archer Omega Qualified Watchmaker Apr 12, 2020

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    Yes, I'm sure that's it...
     
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  19. Canuck Apr 12, 2020

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    The mayor may have been the local brothel madam!
     
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  20. Archer Omega Qualified Watchmaker Apr 12, 2020

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