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- 16,035
Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics]
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- 7,799
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- 27,113
Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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- 2,879
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- 13,124
Wryfox
·
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- 16,790
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- 47,576
STANDY
··schizophrenic pizza orderer and watch collector
- Posts
- 6,398
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- 11,820
- Posts
- 16,839
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- 35,266
JimInOz
··Melbourne Australia
- Posts
- 686
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- 2,727
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- 3,188
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- 8,385
blufinz52
··Hears dead people, not watch rotors.During a recent zoom meeting I was involved in, I told a joke and no one laughed. Turns out I'm not remotely funny.
- Posts
- 2,441
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- 5,048
Charlemagne1333
·I enjoy blindfolded archery.
You should try it. You don’t know what you’re missing…
You should try it. You don’t know what you’re missing…
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- 3,022
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hmmmcamu
·
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- 3,022
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- 16,035
hmmmcamu
·
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- 2,727
EuroDriver
·A man who has been stranded on a desert island all alone for 10 years sees a speck on the horizon.
“It’s too small to be a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer, he rules out the possibility of it being a small boat, then a raft. Suddenly, a gorgeous blonde woman emerges from the surf wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned man and asks, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” “Ten years!” he says. She unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, “Man, is that ever good!”
Then she asks him, “How long has it been since you’ve had a sip of bourbon?” Trembling, he replies, “Ten years!”
She unzips a waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask, and gives it to him.
He opens it, takes a long swig, and says, “That’s fantastic!”
Then she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper down the front of her suit, looks at him seductively, and asks, “And how long has it been since you’ve played around?”
The man, with tears in his eyes, replies, “Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there!”
“It’s too small to be a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer, he rules out the possibility of it being a small boat, then a raft. Suddenly, a gorgeous blonde woman emerges from the surf wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned man and asks, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” “Ten years!” he says. She unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, “Man, is that ever good!”
Then she asks him, “How long has it been since you’ve had a sip of bourbon?” Trembling, he replies, “Ten years!”
She unzips a waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask, and gives it to him.
He opens it, takes a long swig, and says, “That’s fantastic!”
Then she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper down the front of her suit, looks at him seductively, and asks, “And how long has it been since you’ve played around?”
The man, with tears in his eyes, replies, “Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there!”
- Posts
- 2,879
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- 13,124
Wryfox
·
- Posts
- 2,879
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- 13,124
Wryfox
·
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- 4,961
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- 72,457
Barking mad
··Prolific Speedmaster Hoarder
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- 4,044
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- 39,185
ghce
·
Or subtitled " The Me generation"
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- 3,022
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hmmmcamu
·
- Posts
- 3,022
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- 16,035
hmmmcamu
·
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M'Bob
·
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STANDY
··schizophrenic pizza orderer and watch collectorTwo men from the city decided to head to the mountains in the middle of winter to do some ice fishing. They’d heard from friends how good it was so they decided to take advantage of the cold weather and head to a frozen lake.
Just before they got to the lake they stopped at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said: “We’re gonna need an ice pick.”
So they got that and took off. In less than two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said: “We’re gonna need another dozen ice picks.”
The worker in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn’t, so he sold him the picks and the man left. In about an hour, he was back and said: “We’re gonna need all the ice picks you’ve got.”
The worker couldn’t stand it any longer so he asked: “By the way, how are you fellows doing?”
“Not very well at all,” he answered. “We haven’t even got the boat in the water yet.”
Just before they got to the lake they stopped at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said: “We’re gonna need an ice pick.”
So they got that and took off. In less than two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said: “We’re gonna need another dozen ice picks.”
The worker in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn’t, so he sold him the picks and the man left. In about an hour, he was back and said: “We’re gonna need all the ice picks you’ve got.”
The worker couldn’t stand it any longer so he asked: “By the way, how are you fellows doing?”
“Not very well at all,” he answered. “We haven’t even got the boat in the water yet.”
