Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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"A B C, you and me -- and the snakes on the mutherfuckin' plane!"
 
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These so-called 'disposable cameras are a complete farce. Now I have absolutely no record of
a perfectly lovely holiday.
 
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own Mother?'
He answered,
'Call for backup.'