Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

Egyptian evening news went something like this...."The adopted brother of the king, Moses, has returned after 40 years on the run for murdering head task master Wesser Walady. The Walady family has petitioned the king for justice in this matter however the king has granted Moses a pardon.

State news has learned from official sources that Moses has requested that the Hebrews be released and allowed to move on per demands of their god. The king has denied this request claiming that he knows nothing of this god and that this god has no official standing in Egypt. Sources close to the king say that Moses is suspected of having mental issues and has certainly become a practitioner of some new type of magic as demonstrated in the kings court. This kings court event official known as "the snake and staff" incident was confirmed from official state records of which Egypt Live at 5 gained a mostly blacked out account.

Scribes and Priests at the Temple of On are scouring records to find some history of this Hebrew god. 400 years ago, when the Hebrews first arrived, the famous Hebrew Joseph was said to have saved Egypt through knowledge given to him by his god about a coming famine. Joseph later became associated with the high priest of On, even marring his daughter, and it is hoped that this close association will produce records. The official state position however is that Joseph is a mythical person and part of Hebrew propaganda the flourished in the first several centuries after the Hebrews arrival and is really more of a Hebrew bedtime story that became blow out of proportion. What little records Live at 5 was able to acquire were mostly blacked out by the state security and records office.

As part of his reinstatement and pardon Moses has been ordered to take sensitivity training and undergo a full mental health evaluation. New concerns about Moses have arisen from comments he made at a recent Hebrew workers rally. Workers gathered in mass to complain about the new brick making ordnances with Moses in attendance. Moses assured the crowed of almost 10 thousand workers that the god of their fathers was about to "go old school up in here and kick the apis bull sh*t out of this dump". Moses has since been forbidden to speak in public or attend any workers meetings.

Stolen from one of my other forums.

Thread title.

"You know you're getting old when........"

This post made me laugh.

I was watching porn the other night and found myself thinking " that bloody bed looks comfy "