Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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Aberama Gold is obviously an English language teacher.
 
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When I can't think of the correct word to use in a statement, I say:
"I cant think of the English term for it."
That way people think I'm bilingual, not stupid.
 
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I think that's the acceleration per day, not the velocity...
 
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I don't think it matters who uses the knife.
Meatloaf wouldn't bother slicing the bread.....he'd swallow the bread whole!