Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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Daylight Saving has just kicked in here.
This admittedly made me curious. From Wikipedia:

The first implementation of DST was by Port Arthur (today merged into Thunder Bay), in Ontario, Canada, in 1908, but only locally, not nationally. The first nation-wide implementations were by the German and Austro-Hungarian Empires, both starting on 30 April 1916. Since then, many countries have adopted DST at various times, particularly since the 1970s energy crisis.
 
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Ah but in a sense it is longer.........it's longer than it was in the brief period that the 2 inches was cut from the blanket
 
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If a man speaks in the forest, and there are no women to hear it, is he still wrong?
 
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If a man speaks in the forest, and there are no women to hear it, is he still wrong?
It won't matter if they hear it or not, they will consider him wrong as a matter of first principle!
 
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Two nuts were walking down the street.
One of them was a salted.
 
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A skeleton walks into a bar...

"Could I get a beer and a mop"
 
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What's the best thing about being bitten by a venomous spider?

You're probably in Australia...