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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

BlackTalon
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hen hen
Do you need new glasses there, buddy?
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This would have been fitting to send an acquaintance >30 years ago. After a long night at a bar he decided 'why the heck not'. He wound up being a dad, and had the honor of then being bound part-time to the substantially larger person for the next 18 years. Obviously he was no great catch either, so she was not exactly happy to interact with him all those years. IN fact, she was a substantially better person than he was/ is. The kid turned out pretty well from what I heard a decade or so back (thankfully).
 
hen
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If you got one of these, take really good care of it, its a Keeper!
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Canuck
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hen hen
If you got one of these, take really good care of it, its a Keeper!
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This clock is a Segway to yet another bedroom clock. When the Sessions Clock Co. (https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/term/BIOG234348#:~:text=The%20Sessions%20Clock%20Company%20was,the%20Forestville%20Manufacturing%20Company%20q.] ceased manufacturing mechanical clocks, they turned their attention to producing electric clocks. In the early 1960s, they introduced a clock called the Lady Sessions which was meant to aid in family planning! 😁 Here is an image of the very clock. A look at it might cause you to ask how this clock might plan a woman track her cycle!

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Speed2Sea
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I had my prostate checked today. I asked the doctor where I should put my pants. He said "over there beside mine"

That wasn't the answer I was expecting.
 
pdxleaf
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hen hen
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Now I know why some people name their kids after cars.

"Let me introduce you to my daughters, 'Porsche' and 'Beach House.'"
Edited:
 
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