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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

blufinz52
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If you had to choose between your significant other and $5,000,000, what's the first thing you would buy?
 
Tony C.
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blufinz52 blufinz52
If you had to choose between your significant other and $5,000,000, what's the first thing you would buy?

A top-flight divorce attorney?
 
CBM1590
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blufinz52 blufinz52
If you had to choose between your significant other and $5,000,000, what's the first thing you would buy?
I’m keeping my Mrs. Money can’t buy what I have.
 
BlackTalon
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CBM1590 CBM1590
I’m keeping my Mrs. Money can’t buy what I have.
When you say that in a joke thread...
 
Charlemagne1333
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Superman is walking by a church, when the minister suddenly emerges pleading for his help.

“Superman, we desperately need your assistance. A wall has collapsed in the basement trapping some workmen. Please help us!!”

“No way,” says Superman, “I’m not going anywhere near the crypt tonight!”
 
M'Bob
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CBM1590 CBM1590
I’m keeping my Mrs. Money can’t buy what I have.

Only married guys who say that have girlfriends…
 
Charlemagne1333
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My wife threw me out for telling too many Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes.

I said don’t worry, I’ll be back…
 
BlackTalon
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Or, "You're funny! I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last..."
 
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