Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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A man walked into a local bar, waving his unholstered pistol and yelled,

“I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 Pistol with a seven round magazine plus one bullet in the chamber and I want to know who’s been sleeping with my Girlfriend .”

A voice from the back of the room called out,

*you need more bullets*
 
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Deceptive Shopping bags…

As has happened before, thought that was a nice in-house movement. But, was deceived.
 
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"What's ironic about Jesus Christ becoming a carpenter is that he was named the two words you're most likely to yell out after hitting your thumb with a hammer."

-cunkoneverything
 
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"What's ironic about Jesus Christ becoming a carpenter is that he was named the two words you're most likely to yell out after hitting your thumb with a hammer."

-cunkoneverything

 
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"What's ironic about Jesus Christ becoming a carpenter is that he was named the two words you're most likely to yell out after hitting your thumb with a hammer."

-cunkoneverything

Yeah but you wouldn't win Lotto with that one unless of course JC had a middle name which would have had to have been Jesus fυcking Christ!
Which is the ameliorative I apply to such occasions.

Cunk must have a general audience rating