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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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STANDY
··schizophrenic pizza orderer and watch collectorIn the UK….. call that a beer….. (just trying out a new pint ..500ml glass tonight) technology is a wonderful thing :0)
500ml oh look at you go 🙄
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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M'Bob
·Can you wear a Speedmaster whilst drinking beer? SETTLED…
Edited:
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BlackTalon
··This Space for RentOf course you can wear it while drinking beer. The question is whether or not it will get damaged when you fall down the stairs leaving the restaurant/ bar, or when you stagger in the front door a bit too tipsy and your SO clocks (heh) you with a frying pan.
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M'Bob
·and your SO clocks (heh) you with a frying pan.
Little known fact: the original NASA tests included hitting a Speedy repeatedly with a frying pan.
Edited:
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JimInOz
··Melbourne AustraliaDamn noisy smoke!
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rob#1
·“You’ll be right mate, fibro particles are safe in a fire. Just stay put, otherwise the fresh air outside will get ya” 😵💫
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Pvt-Public
·He was amazingly calm while doing that…
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Darlinboy
··Pratts! Will I B******S!!!Boeing has just announced that they will begin production of golf clubs later this year, taking advantage of the metallurgical expertise the company has developed through decades of aerospace technology R&D.
The biggest benefit of Boeing's new club design? You are much more likely to get a hole in one.
The biggest benefit of Boeing's new club design? You are much more likely to get a hole in one.
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Pvt-Public
·The biggest benefit of Boeing's new club design? You are much more likely to get a hole in one.
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Charlemagne1333
·Dating in 2024…
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Twocats
··Married... with childrenApologies in advance if this joke has already been posted.
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender says to him,
"You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it but it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all used to drink together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way.
He orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
Just after New Years Day, he comes in and orders two pints.
All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your sad loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me......I'm doing Dry January
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender says to him,
"You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it but it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all used to drink together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way.
He orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
Just after New Years Day, he comes in and orders two pints.
All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your sad loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me......I'm doing Dry January