Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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I told my wife I wanted to be a comedian, but she just laughed at me.
 
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I told my wife I wanted to be a comedian, but she just laughed at me.

Would that be funny ha ha, or funny peculiar.
 
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A guy goes to the poultry dealer to buy a rooster. The proprietor says, “you don’t want a rooster, you want a cockerel. They cost a bit more, but they are younger, and breed better”. The guy says, “I know I can trust you. I’l take a cockerel. Now I need a hen.” The dealer says, “ you don’t want a hen, you want a pullet. They cost a bit more, but they are worth it.” The guy buys a pullet. On the way home, he decides to buy a donkey. The dealer said, “you don’t want a donkey. You want an ass. Donkeys are stubborn, and they’ll come to a standstill, and you can’t move them. With an ass, all you need to do is to scratch his rump, and he’ll carry on”. The guy buys an ass. On the way home with his purchases, the donkey comes to a stop! Seeing his dilemma, a woman asks if she can help. “Thank you, you sure can. Please grab my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass!”
 
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Just waitin' for @STANDY to chime in 😁.


Note to self: don’t skip leg day…

Think he missed Man Day 😗