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M'Bob
·
Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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SmithSJ
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SmithSJ
·
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M'Bob
·I tell you, life is about perspective.
I have a friend: reads two books a week, never cooks a meal, sex twice a day, and exercising all the time. Yet he constantly complains about prison…
I have a friend: reads two books a week, never cooks a meal, sex twice a day, and exercising all the time. Yet he constantly complains about prison…
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury memberDamn auto-correct - it^ should have read uncircumcised toad in the hole. I extend my sincere apologies to all of my Facebook friends. 😁
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SC1
·A culinary life lesson from Facebook today…
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Come on, what married fella hasn't screamed "TOAD IN THE HOLE!" on Date Night in bed?
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Wryfox
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Omegafanman
·This is an old one…. But not a lot has changed in terms of UK TV programmes these days :0)
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M'Bob
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Wryfox
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Wryfox
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Zuke
·Whats the difference between a chick pea and a lentil?
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Would you pay £200 to have a lentil on your head?
Isn't this supposed to be:
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbonzo bean?
....Well I don't know about you but I've never had a garbonzo bean on my chest!
It works because technically a chickpea and garbonzo bean are the exact same thing.
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hmmmcamu
·
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M'Bob
·A woman goes to an accountant for help filing her taxes. After asking her some basic demographic questions, he asks her what she does for work.
“I’m a whore, “ she says.
The accountant replies, “Oh, that is much too crass. Let’s try to re-phrase it.”
The woman says, “Well then, I’m a prostitute.”
“Nope, “ say the accountant. “That still won’t fly.”
“Okay then, “ says the woman. “ I’m a chicken farmer.”
“A chicken farmer?,” says the accountant. What does that have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?”
“Well,” says the woman. “I raised over 5000 cocks last year…”
“I’m a whore, “ she says.
The accountant replies, “Oh, that is much too crass. Let’s try to re-phrase it.”
The woman says, “Well then, I’m a prostitute.”
“Nope, “ say the accountant. “That still won’t fly.”
“Okay then, “ says the woman. “ I’m a chicken farmer.”
“A chicken farmer?,” says the accountant. What does that have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?”
“Well,” says the woman. “I raised over 5000 cocks last year…”
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hmmmcamu
·
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M'Bob
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blufinz52
··Hears dead people, not watch rotors.