Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

Fretworker · Dec 29, 2022

Ok emboldened now ... 2 in a row. Watch out Wryfox. If you can do Irish accents so much the better. If you can't then just ignore the following. If you have a sense of humour, just ignore the following anyway.

A country Irishman has toiled all his life on the farm - with little sucess and fewer prospects. He decides to go to the Big City where he hopes there are better paid jobs. Hitting the outskirts he sees an advertisement for labourers needed on a building site. "Well, I'm a big guy, strong, muscular, I can do that". He applies. The foreman sees the rural local and impressed by his build nevertheless decides to have a little fun. "Now, tell me have you ever worked in construction?" "No, but I'm strong and I can carry a heavy load". "There's more to it than just muscles my boy". I mean, do you know the difference between a joist and a girder?" "Hmm, now for sure that's a tough one. Joist and a Girder".

Didn't Joyce write Ulysses and Goethe write Superman?"

Tony C. · Dec 29, 2022

Fretworker · Dec 29, 2022

Tony C.

Manspreading?

M'Bob · Dec 29, 2022

A woman suffers burns over 90% of her body, and requires a skin graft for her face. The surgeon determines she needs a donor.

Her husband of 25 years tells the doctor that this skin on his but is unusually soft and clear. The surgeon agrees, and the procedure is performed.

After the operation, the bandages come off, and the woman is so happy with the result, she is in tears. She says to her husband, “Oh my goodness, how can I ever repay you?”

The husband says, “Honey, after this many years with you, I’ve gotten everything. Plus, when your Mother gives you a kiss on the cheek, that will be all the thanks I need…”

Charlemagne1333 · Dec 29, 2022

M'Bob · Dec 29, 2022

A seven year-old boy is sitting on a park bench, eating a huge chocolate bar.

An old man sitting next to him says, “You know, eating that much chocolate isn’t good for you.”

The boy says, “Really? Cuz my grandpa lived to be 105.”

The man replies, “By eating that much chocolate?”

“No,” the boy says. “By minding his own fυcking business…”

impalla62ss · Dec 29, 2022

Omegafanman · Dec 30, 2022

With the recent passing of Squadron Leader George Leonard Johnson (Johnny Johnson) the number of empty seats has increased...
Good humour and a good party was always high on their agenda / lived life to the full.
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