Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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Not a joke but it's pretty funny...attack of the killer squirrel apparently...


Looks very staged to me … whatever enters shot the second time around was thrown looking at the trajectory?
It seems to try and remove itself asap again so might have been a stunt squirrel / not a stuffed toy,
.
 
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Looks very staged to me … whatever enters shot the second time around was thrown looking at the trajectory?
It seems to try and remove itself asap again so might have been a stunt squirrel / not a stuffed toy,
.

Maybe, but I see squirrels jumping like this all the time just outside my window...from the roof to trees that are several feet away.
 
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Hi.

Picture the scene, King Charles and Camilla are in the bedroom at Buck Palace.

Charles is holding and caressing the state crown.


Charles is saying;

“ Precious, Precious!

Charles cried out, O my Precious it’s mine!

Mine!

She kept it from me all these years.

But now she’s dead!!

You’re mine!

It’s mine!

Mine! O my precious!


Camilla say’s;

“Charles, do we have to go through this every time you want to make love!”
 
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Camilla to Charles:

Once a king, always a king, but once a knight is enough.
 
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Hi.

Picture the scene, King Charles and Camilla are in the bedroom at Buck Palace.

Charles is holding and caressing the state crown.


Charles is saying;

“ Precious, Precious!

Charles cried out, O my Precious it’s mine!

Mine!

She kept it from me all these years.

But now she’s dead!!

You’re mine!

It’s mine!

Mine! O my precious!


Camilla say’s;

“Charles, do we have to go through this every time you want to make love!”

😕
 
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😕
Gollum in The Lord of the rings trilogy refered to the ring as his Precious, I am making a similarity to Charles referring to the crown as his precious thing that like Gollum he has wanted for many years.
Joe.
 
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Note to self: must get out in the garden more often…

That's great to know & hoping I spot a few while I'm out & about myself this Autumn , but it was a bit nippy for those little tits this morning .
 
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Gollum in The Lord of the rings trilogy refered to the ring as his Precious, I am making a similarity to Charles referring to the crown as his precious thing that like Gollum he has wanted for many years.
Joe.

A ring also refers to a female contraceptive device which may have the colour or red gold due to its copper content.
One presumes this joke is much more of a double entendre where the real humour is more hidden.

Well done that man!
 
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A ring also refers to a female contraceptive device which may have the colour or red gold due to its copper content.
One presumes this joke is much more of a double entendre where the real humour is more hidden.

Well done that man!

I think you're giving him too much credit.
 
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I prefer the more direct gutter approach:

Q: Why does Charles have such big ears.
A: Camilla needs some thing to hang on to.
 
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I got a job in a factory that makes Dracula figurines. There’s only two of us on that line, so I have to make every second count.