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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

Omegafanman
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Wryfox Wryfox
Screenshot_20220916-061634_Metal Pro.jpg

I recall a very out of touch senior business leader giving a rousing speech at a manufacturing plant. ‘’ It is no good to be Mediocre - the target is alway excellence’’……A few wise heads afterwards said maybe, if he had set mediocre as the target, then the plant could just about aspire to reach that, based on the leader’s actual level of commitment and investment ;0)
 
Tony C.
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Most of them^ don't sweat it because they don't! 😁
 
lindo
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An old man, bow legged and bent forward over his walking stick, slowly made his way into an ice-cream shop. After surveying the range of flavours he said to the girl behind the counter "I would like a cone with those two flavours please".

She looked at him and asked softly "Crushed nuts?".

He grimaced and said, "No - arthritis".
 
blufinz52
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lindo lindo
An old man, bow legged and bent forward over his walking stick, slowly made his way into an ice-cream shop. After surveying the range of flavours he said to the girl behind the counter "I would like a cone with those two flavours please".

She looked at him and asked softly "Crushed nuts?".

He grimaced and said, "No - arthritis".

Another version.

An old couple were out for an ice cream, and the gentleman asked for an Ice Cream Sundae. The young woman behind the counter asked, "Do you want crushed nuts?" The old man, surprised at the question, said, "No, do you want your tits smashed?!?!"
 
Omegafanman
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Beyond Meat executive arrested for allegedly biting man’s nose in road rage incident........

Is it just me or are the headlines just getting stranger.........Maybe it was because the guy had transfered in 2021 after three decades at 'Tyson' foods and had bitten off more than he can chew this time (you just can make it up)
 
Omegafanman
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Omegafanman Omegafanman
Beyond Meat executive arrested for allegedly biting man’s nose in road rage incident........

Is it just me or are the headlines just getting stranger.........Maybe it was because the guy had transfered in 2021 after three decades at 'Tyson' foods and had bitten off more than he can chew this time (you just can make it up)

Meanwhile in other breaking and less violent news......

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Edited:
 
M'Bob
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Not at all chicken shit. Although maybe so…

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Edited:
 
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