Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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Given the relative size of the subject appendage, if you need to look closely, I would suggest a visit to your local optometrist. 😁
 
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Given the relative size of the subject appendage, if you need to look closely, I would suggest a visit to your local optometrist. 😁

That’s exactly what I said to my wife. She said, “Thanks, my eyes are fine…”
 
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and then this showed up in my email .

....I must be special....only took 100 minutes
 
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Conversation with my teenage daughter this afternoon:-
Dad: Did you read that report yet?
Daughter: Yes, I read everything except the text.
Dad:😕
 
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That reminds of the one in which the fellow arrives home after work, to find his wife sliding down the bannister. I’ll leave your imagination to fill in the blanks.