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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]
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vitriol
·
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M'Bob
·
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Socks
·A woman walking past a pet shop sees a parrot for sale in the window. Rather taken with him she goes inside to have a look at him. “How much for the parrot?” She asked the assistant. “£5” he said. “Why so cheap?” She asked. “Well the previous owner was a madam in a brothel, so he’s learned some fruity language” Undeterred she bought him, took him home and put him on his perch in the living room.
“New brothel! Nice!!” Said the parrot.
The woman’s two daughters walked in…
“New girls! Nice!!” Said the parrot.
The Husband walks in…
“Hello Keith!” Said the parrot.
“New brothel! Nice!!” Said the parrot.
The woman’s two daughters walked in…
“New girls! Nice!!” Said the parrot.
The Husband walks in…
“Hello Keith!” Said the parrot.
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RonJ
·A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and occasionally holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair, under the table, and under the table cloth, but the man said nothing and kept staring straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior is too risqué and worried that it might offend some of the other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man: "Pardon me, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
The man calmly looked up at her and said: "No, she didn't . . . she just walked in."
They were gazing lovingly at each other and occasionally holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair, under the table, and under the table cloth, but the man said nothing and kept staring straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior is too risqué and worried that it might offend some of the other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man: "Pardon me, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
The man calmly looked up at her and said: "No, she didn't . . . she just walked in."
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M'Bob
·Could I possibly resist?
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Maxim
·Two guys accidentally meet after not seeing each other for a long time:
- Hi, long time no see! How are you and what do you do for living these days?
- Oh, I started a startup, actually…
- Really? That's great! So what is it all about?
- Actually...It is a brothel.
- A brothel?! No way! But…but what are the offerings?
- Well, oral is XX $, anal is YY $…
- Alright, but what about the classic?
- Well, classic isn’t there yet, - it’s a startup, I'm working alone… 😉
- Hi, long time no see! How are you and what do you do for living these days?
- Oh, I started a startup, actually…
- Really? That's great! So what is it all about?
- Actually...It is a brothel.
- A brothel?! No way! But…but what are the offerings?
- Well, oral is XX $, anal is YY $…
- Alright, but what about the classic?
- Well, classic isn’t there yet, - it’s a startup, I'm working alone… 😉
Edited:
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SpeedyPhill
·140 years in London 1882-2022
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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M'Bob
·
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Omegafanman
·Meanwhile on the BBC today ......... :0)
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pdxleaf
·
My kids used to say, "What's the same about Dad and the dog? They have toot in common."
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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Archer
··Omega Qualified WatchmakerI recently heard about a book for teens that featured a story about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat, who teamed up have have some adventures. So I went to the bookstore to see if they had a copy for my nephew. I didn't know the title so I described the story, and the sales clerk said:
"It rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's there or not."
"It rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's there or not."
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M'Bob
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Omegafanman
·That second one was grim 🙁
Sorry ...... My wife and I decided that we dont want children..... but we respect that some people do........... so if any forum members want to pop round and collect ours they are all ready to go :0)
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M'Bob
·Sorry ...... My wife and I decided that we dont want children..... but we respect that some people do........... so if any forum members want to pop round and collect ours they are all ready to go :0)
I’m okay to come and get the one with the abdominal wound, if it’s all healed up…
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SpeedyPhill
·6275
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