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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

JimInOz
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Omegafanman Omegafanman
An elderly well dressed lady in a nice car gets pulled over for speeding and asks Is there a problem Officer?.....................

An oldie but a goodie, but I think it's the third repeat of this one.

😉
 
Darlinboy
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Jesus walks into a restaurant and says to the maitre d', "Table for 26 please."

After a quick headcount, the maitre d' replies, "But sir ... there are only 13 in your party?"

"That's correct," Jesus replies with a nod...

"But we are all going to sit on the same side of the table."
 
Archer
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Just in case you don't know...Stare Trek to the rescue...

 
Charlemagne1333
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Artist: “So, how would you like to be painted, young lady?”
Child: “With my favourite fish”
Artist: “With your favorite fish?”
Child: “Yes”
Artist: “Are you sure? It might distra_ _”
Child: “WITH MY FISH!!”
Artist: “… OK”
Child: “… And this drunken cat”

F907992F-75D0-4E96-BD27-306E08C8B196.jpeg
 
DaveK
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Charlemagne1333 Charlemagne1333
Artist: “So, how would you like to be painted, young lady?”
Child: “With my favourite fish”
Artist: “With your favorite fish?”
Child: “Yes”
Artist: “Are you sure? It might distra_ _”
Child: “WITH MY FISH!!”
Artist: “… OK”
Child: “… And this drunken cat”

F907992F-75D0-4E96-BD27-306E08C8B196.jpeg

LOL
 
DaveK
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It seems like there’s a new slang term every day…

EA740A0C-E9B3-4364-9BEB-F80F2D6ADAE5.jpeg
 
Archer
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“Serving suggestion” indeed...
 
mario_8778
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Andrew ask his best friend John:
Hey John,are we going out tonight for a drink?
John replies:
Are we going out like human beings or we are taking our wifes?
 
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