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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

Farmer
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An Irishman and a Mormon are seated together on a plane bound for London, shortly after take off the hostess comes and takes drink orders, the Irishman says he will have a large whisky, the Mormon says, I would rather be ravished by 4 hookers than let alcohol touch my lips, the Irishman hands back his Whisky and says, I did, not know we had a choice.
 
Archer
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Halloween coming up tomorrow, so in honour of that...a few with that theme...
243631143_10158337680905817_2439228490435803615_n.jpg 245689579_3019581655035832_8184680258630603814_n.jpg 245975545_6284132938323803_5880854694901894633_n.jpg 248422920_10166006653345338_8843326124032703990_n.jpg


And since the new season of Dr. Who starts on the 31st, here's an appropriately themed crossword:

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AlphaToOmega
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Marty Funkhauser tells Jerry Seinfeld a joke -
I advise caution when viewing but the delivery and reactions are genius.
 
Canuck
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I thought he sounded like Bob Einstein aka Super Dave Osborne, Am I slow, or did everybody know that Marty Funkhauser was another of his alter egos?
 
AlphaToOmega
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Canuck Canuck
I thought he sounded like Bob Einstein aka Super Dave Osborne, Am I slow, or did everybody know that Marty Funkhauser was another of his alter egos?
Marty Funkhauser is his character in Curb Your Enthusiasm. The clip is from the same program.
 
M'Bob
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AlphaToOmega AlphaToOmega
Marty Funkhauser is his character in Curb Your Enthusiasm. The clip is from the same program.

And, what a stellar toupee…
 
Darlinboy
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Continuing the Halloween theme...

Q. What do you call a woke wolf?
.
.
A. Aware wolf.
::rimshot::

Q. Why won't werewolves eat ghosts?
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.
A. Because they taste like sheet!
::rimshot::

Q. Why are mummies always so stressed out?
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A. Because they just can't unwind!
::rimshot::
 
Canuck
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The termite walks into the lounge and asks……..wait for it………where is the bartender?
 
Darlinboy
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I would tell a zombie joke, but ....

I am afraid it would come back to bite me. 😲
 
CPRwatch
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Has anyone seen the invisible man , apparently he has gone missing. Please see pictures below which may help identify him .
 
Canuck
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CPRwatch CPRwatch
Has anyone seen the invisible man , apparently he has gone missing. Please see pictures below which may help identify him .

There was no picture uploaded, for obvious reasons. But keep your eyes peeled for his lady friend of whom we do have a picture. Find her, and he’ll be with her! BOO! 😁
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M'Bob
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CPRwatch CPRwatch
Has anyone seen the invisible man , apparently he has gone missing. Please see pictures below which may help identify him .

In a similar vein…

87D1ED9E-8CC6-4526-B79A-0104B5D4777B.jpeg
 
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