Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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Did you hear the latest?

Chuck Norris was exposed to covid-19...


the virus is not expected to survive. ::psy::




(Wish he'd done that months ago!)
 
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Reminds me of the telegram supposedly sent by a journalist to Cary Grant:

How old Cary Grant?

to which came the reply:

Old Cary Grant fine, how you?
 
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So what if I don't know what Apocalypse means ??? . It's not the end of the World is it .
4ff07d63f6270b01a3b2baf8d87de7ef82-20-hydrogen-bomb-apocalypse-2.jpg
 
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A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting.

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, “Pull over!”

“No!” the woman yelled back. “It’s a cardigan!”
 
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A police spot a woman standing on the 4th floor ledge, incredible she is knitting.

“Send for the fire deparment rescue!” scream the police into his radio, “We got a jumper!!”

“No!” the woman yell, “It’s a cardigan!”
 
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A sweater I bought was picking up too much static electricity so I returned it.

They gave me another one free of charge.

::rimshot::
 
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A boy is ask Santa for a heavy sweater for Christmas.

Santa bring him a sumo wrestler.

::rimshot::
 
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A sweater I bought was picking up too much static electricity so I returned it.

They gave me another one free of charge.

::rimshot::

sure it was a sweater? Not a cardigan?