Community Stories

Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

lindo
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A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend
said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO. . .. ,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs.'
 
rob#1
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Charlemagne1333 Charlemagne1333
The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe...

What’s funnier is that this was actually tweeted by the Flat Earth Society 😜

BD716643-0B16-442A-A780-F5A2284C81FC.png
 
Darlinboy
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“I’ve just been back to the office for the first time in months,” said Fred. “And right away I’ve learned Covid isn’t the worst thing you can get.”

“I dunno Fred, what did you get that’s worse?” asked Ned.

“The axe!” moaned Fred.
 
P
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whitewolf777 whitewolf777
Lady: “Mr Bond I like your watch”
Bond: “With this watch I can see that you are not wearing underwear”
Lady: “But I AM wearing underwear”
Bond: “This watch is one hour early”

actually used this in real life. 😀
 
Archer
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2020 24.jpg


"I wanna be sedated" - theme song for 2020...
 
kkt
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whitewolf777 whitewolf777
😀👍 I would have loved to be around when you did, to witness the lady’s reaction.

Well, he's still alive, so that's a start.
 
Darlinboy
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She: don't worry, the pandemic will be over in a few months!

He: who told you that?

She: yes.
 
Darlinboy
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I stared as she stepped from the shower and stood there naked and glistening before me. My heart fluttered, I felt a connection, something deep, something magical, I was transported to another place and I thought to myself...






- good lord these binoculars are fantastic!
 
lindo
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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?’
 
STANDY
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I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day
 
Archer
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The Thing - a movie about a group of people stuck together in a snowbound location, trying to figure out who has a terrifying infection, is the Christmas movie of 2020.
 
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