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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

  1. Ralph971 Nov 8, 2019

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    Some Police Action:

     
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  2. Ralph971 Nov 8, 2019

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  3. Wivac Terribly special Nov 8, 2019

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    Why did Freud never swear?





    Because he kissed his mother with that mouth
     
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  4. Mafkees Nov 8, 2019

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    What's the most wanted job by ambitious spiders?





    Web designer.
     
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  5. Mouse_at_Large still immune to Speedmaster attraction Nov 8, 2019

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    Not a joke per se, but amusing :D

     
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  6. Edward53 Nov 9, 2019

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    [​IMG]
     
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  7. rob#1 Nov 9, 2019

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  8. Mafkees Nov 11, 2019

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    Somewhat of a pun. Who gets it?
    upload_2019-11-11_12-31-28.png
     
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  9. Darlinboy Pratts! Will I B******S!!! Nov 11, 2019

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    ^^ I do. ;)
     
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  10. 0uss Nov 14, 2019

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    Another one seen on facebook today, made me giggle for a while :D:D:D:D

    73515569_2737758186274593_7510925591906877440_o.jpg
     
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  11. Shabbaz Nov 14, 2019

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    Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands.
    There are no canaries there either.
     
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  12. DaveK Yoda of Yodelers Nov 15, 2019

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    I’m not sure if this is a joke, or just disturbing :thumbsdown:. But this is what I spotted at the return counter at Winners (a discount store) tonight.

    CE458E57-6D89-4719-B3D2-BA6F5C89E94D.jpeg 1F14E36A-580D-4400-867E-8245817214BC.jpeg

    I think they also have this in Australia, but the box says large spiders ::rimshot::
     
  13. BDHD Nov 15, 2019

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    Death walks into a blind watchmaker's shop. All the watches in the store were stolen, but the watchmaker is still sitting by the register. Death looks around the store, sighs and says, "Can't you see you're out of time?"
     
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  14. Joe_A Nov 15, 2019

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    I don't get it.

    Apparently, it went right over my head.

    I tried to work it out for awhile and finally I thought to myself: "Well . . . that sucks."
     
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  15. Socks Nov 16, 2019

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    A topical one from 8 years ago but the Motogp just reminded me...

    The Italians......

    Fabrizio
    upload_2019-11-16_12-27-51.jpeg

    Biaggi
    upload_2019-11-16_12-29-2.jpeg

    Rossi
    [​IMG]

    Schettino
    upload_2019-11-16_12-31-20.jpeg
     
  16. Socks Nov 16, 2019

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    THE GLOVES
    A young man called Paul wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's Christmas present and as they had not been dating for very long, after careful consideration, he decided that a pair of gloves would strike the right note, not too romantic and not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister he went to Harrods and bought a dainty pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself at the same time.

    During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed up the two items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:

    "Dear Maria, I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove.
    These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair that she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly dirty at all. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart even though they were a little tight on her. She also told me that her pair helps to keep her ring clean and shiny; in fact she had not needed to wash it since she had begun wearing them.
    I wish I were there to put them on for you for the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope that you will wear them for me on Friday night."

    All my love Paul

    P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.
     
  17. rob#1 Nov 16, 2019

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  18. Darlinboy Pratts! Will I B******S!!! Nov 16, 2019

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  19. rob#1 Nov 16, 2019

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    Just in case you didn’t get it the first time...:rolleyes:
     
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  20. DaveK Yoda of Yodelers Nov 16, 2019

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