Three old guys in a nursing home are complaining about their various problems.
The first: "When I get up to take a piss, I'm lucky if I get one friggin' drop!"
The second: "My problem is not too different - when I get up to take a crap, I push so hard I feel like I'm going to have another stroke, but I'm happy if I can push out a couple of pellets."
The third one, who has been listening intently, says, "Not me - I'm like a machine: at 7:25, I piss like a racehorse. At 7:30, I take a shit that would be the envy of anyone."
The other two are mildly annoyed by this, and curious, and almost say in unison, "Okay then, so what's your problem?
The third: I get up at 9:00...
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