Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

Buck2466

An old cowboy walks into a barber for a shave and a haircut.

He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he is finished, the cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happend if he would have accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, just bring it back in a few days like everyone else does.

gpssti4

Not sure if this is the correct forum to post this but I’ll ask anyway.

Ok guys, I need your help.
Recently I have become suspicious that my wife of nearly 10 years has been having an affair. She goes out without telling me where she is going and comes home late. She never dresses up nice for me anymore but goes out made up to the nines. I started to worry about a fortnight ago when she started making excuses in 'the bedroom'.
Anyway, rightly or wrongly I decided to follow her yesterday afternoon. She thought that I was working but I knew something was up so I crept out and managed to get to my car and follow her without her seeing me. She drove about 2 miles and parked up outside a house and climbed out of her car. I saw her straighten her dress before she walked to the door of the house and disappear inside.
I sat there thinking about all the good times we'd had over the years and felt myself becoming desperate. What would I do without her?
She finally reappeared what seemed like an age later. I glanced down at my watch to check the time and discovered that I've scratched my Seamaster bezel insert. Do I send it for a service of just replace the insert?

gpssti4

Not sure if this is the correct forum to post this but I’ll ask anyway.

Ok guys, I need your help.
Recently I have become suspicious that my wife of nearly 10 years has been having an affair. She goes out without telling me where she is going and comes home late. She never dresses up nice for me anymore but goes out made up to the nines. I started to worry about a fortnight ago when she started making excuses in 'the bedroom'.
Anyway, rightly or wrongly I decided to follow her yesterday afternoon. She thought that I was working but I knew something was up so I crept out and managed to get to my car and follow her without her seeing me. She drove about 2 miles and parked up outside a house and climbed out of her car. I saw her straighten her dress before she walked to the door of the house and disappear inside.
I sat there thinking about all the good times we'd had over the years and felt myself becoming desperate. What would I do without her?
She finally reappeared what seemed like an age later. I glanced down at my watch to check the time and discovered that I've scratched my Seamaster bezel insert. Do I send it for a service or just replace the insert?