Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics]

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My daughter had a boy in her class named "Waymond." She had a speech issue so we corrected her and said, you mean Raymond, honey.

But she was correct, his name was "Waymond."

So, you are a woeman?

No, a Roman.

Centuwion, thwow him to the fwoor....vewy woughwee.
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There is a fourth - he was poking fun at the ineptitude of the authorities in preventing unconventional name spellings.

Damn, Al, you might make a good cartoonist if this watchmaking thing doesn't work out.😁
 
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Again, the number of children born with non-traditional name spellings is larger than ever before.
Caitlin, Kaitlyn, Katelyn, Caitlyn, Kaitlin, Catelyn, Caitlynn, Kaetlyn, Catelynn, Kaitlinn, Kaitlan, Keightlyn, Caitlinn, Katelan, Catelin, Kaitelynne, Caytlin, Caytlyn, Caetlin, Keightlin, Caetlan
I was in the gift shop at Kennedy Space Center last year. In the section of "your name on a mug" there was a grown-up section that had names like John, Kevin, and Steve. In the kids section, it was all like your example above. There were a lot of variations on Braden, Caden, and Jaden.
 
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Art director for Star Trek conversation at home with partner:
Can I borrow your wig, an ice cream cone, and a couple of straws.. Why why?
I have a really great idea for an alien:
MpUI8mZVahRtqRG239xRvwRzupgKRjEkXkeY30hc04o.jpg
.. oh ..and the dog
😗
 
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Bruce meets Sheila in a bar in Melbourne and they get on like a house on fire. At the end of the night Sheila agrees to spend the night together.
In the morning they exchange phone numbers and go their separate ways.
Six weeks later Bruce gets a call from Sheila telling him she's on a bridge a few miles out of town and she needs to see him straight away.
So Bruce finishes his beer and drives to the bridge to meet her. When he gets there Sheila tell him that she's pregnant and that if he doesn't do the right thing and marry her she will jump off the bridge to her death.
Bruce replies, Strewth Sheila, not only are you a great f**k, you're a great sport too.

I'm only slightly embarrassed to be laughing as hard as I currently am. Definitely a good one!!
 
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Once upon a time, an Omega watch collector named John found himself at an antique store, rummaging through various vintage pieces. Amongst dusty books and tarnished silverware, his eyes fell upon an ancient-looking pocket watch. The shopkeeper noticed his interest and said, "Ah, that old thing has been here for ages. They say it's enchanted."

Intrigued and always up for adding unique pieces to his collection, John bought the watch. The shopkeeper warned him, "Remember, this watch has powers beyond timekeeping. Use it wisely."

Back home, John couldn't resist and wound the pocket watch. To his astonishment, he found himself transported to the 1960s! Realizing the pocket watch was a time machine, he did what any Omega collector would do: he went to an Omega store to buy a Speedmaster Professional at its original 1960s price.

Thrilled with his purchase, he returned to his time. But there was a problem—the Speedmaster Professional he bought was now a vintage piece and far too valuable to wear casually. So, he had a brilliant idea. He used the pocket watch again, this time to go a week into the past in his own timeline. He met his past self and said, "Buy Omega stocks, trust me."

Returning to his present, he found that his past self had listened. Omega's stock had soared due to a sudden spike in Speedmaster sales, and John was now rich!

He went to his safe, where he kept his Omega collection, and placed the time-traveling pocket watch carefully next to his newly acquired, mint-condition 1960s Speedmaster Professional. He looked at his collection and thought, "Well, I guess time really is money!"

Got the original story with the founder of this website : https://oghumor.com/ (shoutout to Alex from Discord community)
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No offense, but looks like a joke a bot/ AI would write 😁

Welcome to OF.

If you need someone to take you to our leader you will need to teleport to Australia.
 
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No offense, but looks like a joke a bot/ AI would write 😁

Welcome to OF.

If you need someone to take you to our leader you will need to teleport to Australia.
🍿
 
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I'll admit it....I'm a bit dense today but I just don't get the joke. I've been staring at the cartoon for 5 minutes and it's just not coming to me.
 
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K koppsg
I'll admit it....I'm a bit dense today but I just don't get the joke. I've been staring at the cartoon for 5 minutes and it's just not coming to me.

Well, it's absurdist humor, but the joke is that the potato contestant is wearing high heels, thereby attempting to make himself appear taller than he actually is. And the man running the contest was not amused.
 
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I'll admit it....I'm a bit dense today but I just don't get the joke. I've been staring at the cartoon for 5 minutes and it's just not coming to me.

It's very literal...
 
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Well, it's absurdist humor, but the joke is that the potato contestant is wearing high heels, thereby attempting to make himself appear taller than he actually is. And the man running the contest was not amused.
Dang, and here I thought the potato was a stripper...