botch.

First, 1st, FIRST time ever I forgot to get the garbage and recycles out to the street. Total brain fart, probably thinking about installing my new Uncle Seiko flat link or how my Nivada Grenchen Chronomaster is doing over there in Hong Kong but goddammit I forgot.

And the irony gets deeper and worse... our garbage and recycle truck drivers are never, NEVER , here before 11am (garbage) and 2pm (recycling) and today, both of the SOB's were here, back to back, tag teaming their way into my black soul, at 9:43 & 9:45am. It's like they knew... like they absolutely knew I hadn't taken the bins out front the night before (which I always do but somehow did not last night). It's like they recon'd me.
Sprinted down the street, flagged them both down, got them both to stop their trucks & listen to my tale of woe -- and then begged both of them to double around and get the bins... "Sorry buddy, can't do it" and off they went.
Spiteful, purely spiteful.
Fuckheads.

Garbage is weekly and recycling is every two weeks and we aren't going to make it ~ no way, recycle bin is full and garbage is nearly full. So after nearly an hour on the phone kissing, completely smooching, the ass of the lady at the waste removal center - to zero avail by the way, this lady wasn't budging and didn't give even the slightest shit about my jokes, asides or self-effacing ways... she was an immovable object of "No" and then "Hell NO" - I now need to do two separate trips to two different locations in town to drop off garbage bags at one place and then empty out and figure out how to transport all the crap in our recycling bin to a different location. And pay for it as both places will weigh the car on the way in and way out.

Great way to start the day.

 

I’ve got to give you extra internet points for being ballsy and call the dispatch center. Hell, I figured if the trucks 100 yards ain’t U-turn for me, no way in hell dispatch will send them out. Big balls you have SC.

Mrs Clause will be pissed. Better have a plan B.

 

I'd just go buy two new bins...

 

Aaaannnd please welcome our first contestant for Rant of the Week....

The noise made by the garbage collectors beats my alarm clock most weeks, although I think they do the opposite side of the road first. They are not always on the same day of the week, so a check with the local gummint's web shite is frequently necessary, and many of my neighbours put the bins out for the wrong day. Yes, I am on the OCD spectrum on getting the garbage out

Thinking about OCD, whoever would time the garbage pickup to the minute? Hmmmmmmm.

 

That's one helluva rant over something as moribund as missing the garbage truck. Is your life so perfect that the slightest setback throws you off? You wanna see let downs and aggravation? Swing by my house any day

 

“One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.” - Oscar Wilde
Thank you so much for writing this so well and lifting my day. We've all been there. Mind, the lady I would have been promising the flowers to (well, have done sometimes) would have been my other half. I did suggest moving house to a zone where the collectors clear the bins later in the week, but somehow that didn't get me back in the good books...

 

I am imagining a pre-nuptial agreement along the lines If you ever propose to move to a house where the garbage is picked up on Mondays I get to keep our current residence and you get to take the bins with you.

 

That was approximately it, actually, just not anticipated in the pre-nup.

 

Fred if my life were perfect I wouldn't be responding to you -- or having to take our fucking recycles out of the bin (drips, unknown - and don't want to know either - liquids and shit from cans & bottles, juices from god knows what, splotches of shit I don't want to see or smell) and put it all into crates and transport that to the recycling center, and pay for it.
Our recycling bin is like a Superfund site.
I oughta do (but won't) what 75% of this town does... drive it out to the desert and dump it -- let nature & time sort it out.

Currently hating my life.

 

That does suck for sure SC1, but to feel better just have a look at the news, and you’ll feel great.

Come on now, post a watch pic and you’ll feel even better.

 

Ah the joys if suburban home ownership...Perhaps a BIGGER tip for the holidays or whenever appropriate might be the thing. I've never had one come back around but on one occasion they saw me or heard me yell and waited for me to catch up to the truck. About 20 meters. They even let me throw the bag in myself. Now that was fun.

have fun
kfw

 

Once I'm done with all this I'll be mentally better -- and physically worse: I have a pulled gluteus medius in my right ass cheek from doing a 125 mile bicycle ride last weekend that is very unhappy and doing all the sorting & lifting today is going to royally piss it off.
Picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

 

Good plan but watch out for who ya might run into...

 

That has happened to me before. IIRC, I collected the excess in heavyweight bags and stored it, and then subsequently asked neighbors if they had room in their bins. Over the years we generally reciprocate if we run out of space, etc.

 

Fixed it...

 

It could always be worse…
Disclaimer: Violent video. Watch at your own risk.

 

Just wrap your bins up to look like Amazon parcels and they'll disappear in 5 minutes

 

Yeah, don't piss off your garbage collectors for with out them we would all be neck deep in shit.

 

My neighbors offered that to me as well but I think they don’t like me anymore.