I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish.
"I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"

"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their asses!"

"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

 

Just remember, the opposite of pro is con, so the opposite of progress, is Congress