US Olympic commentators tripping over the contents of thier trunks while commentating ... who Cums up Trump?


1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw. her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
...
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is
that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

 

made my day.. thank you!

 

GTFO! There's NO way all of them are real quotes!

 

Maybe, maybe not but damn they are funny.

 

I actually heard this while driving home yesterday afternoon, on AM 1090 -- a San Diego sports station. The program hosts, including a woman, had just segued into a live promo segment featuring Dick's Sporting Goods. One of the male hosts described walking into a Dick's store the day before, when the woman blurted out

"Oh, I love Dicks!"

Within miliseconds the other hosts began snickering and snorting. It took several seconds for the woman to comprehend the reason for her co-hosts' amusement.

"..SPORTING GOODS!" she said, emphatically.

Then more snickering and snorting.

 

My favorite sports anchor quote of all time:

Keith Obermann was doing the highlights from a golf tournament. One of the golfers kept missing the hole to the left. It might have been 4 or 5 holes in a row this happened, and Obermann fires deadpan "He's got to stop pulling his putts" (and then smirked directly at the camera).

I used to work in a store next to a Dick's Sporting Goods. They were having their annual tent sale when my district and regional manager stopped by for an unannounced visit. The one asked me "What's going on next door?" to which I replied "There's a big Dick's sale. You should go."

 

After my team rescued a particularly troublesome project that went off the rails because of the project manager's incompetence, he offered the team a lunch on him via email.... To which I replied "I'll have a tossed salad."

He had no clue.

 

My coach once said the cliché to me :"There is no 'I' in TEAM." to which I replied "But there's an 'M' 'E' for ME coach!"

Didn't see the ice 'til the last period that game.

 

"There's no I in Team America"

"...yes there is."

 

The misses was sitting on the lounge watching rugby with me last year and blurted with some gusto

They gotta open a can of arse worms

Mixing
Open a can of whip arse
Open a can of worms

Fuck I ( we ) laughed for hours

 

One of the regulars here has an avatar message "keeps his worms in a ball instead of a can" because he mixed "a whole new ball of wax" with "opening a can of worms" in a thread I was reading. Everyone should know that if you give me something quotable it's GOING TO BE memorialized. No, ifs, ands, or buts.

I love abstract metaphor mangling.

 

I was listening to the radio on the way to work one morning about 10 years ago when a couple of celebs (Michael Hutchence and Paula Yates?) had just been busted for a public display of affection, or should that be pubic...
the radio host offered that he had been charged with breaking and entering and shooting in a public place amnd she was to be charged with recieving swollen goods ... I very nearly shat myself

 

Thread winner. Everyone else can go home.