In my post number 3000 I would like to put forward the history behind Swiss cheese world domination. It is time to get the full story scope out in the open.

During the late 1950ies the Swiss government put a lot of funds into lobbying and science. This has not been known in wider circles. Of course - as Switzerland is renowned for its secrecy. Looking at state budgets from that time though one can easily see how money was poured out. Less known is that the money first went into the pockets of PR and lobbying companies and then later into the US and NASA as well. A very successful investment it has turned out I might add…

The objective - a cunning plan to make Switzerland world cheese leaders.

The Swiss had just like their closest neighbors, the Swedes (with which the Swiss often get confused), come thru the second great war unharmed. Despite this Switzerland did not have much going for it at that time. They had some banks, a couple of old watch companies and a few cows gracing the green valley alp sides producing milk for the local cheese makers.

Powerful Swiss politicians wanted Switzerland to move upwards in the world pecking order but their ideas could not reach far beyond banks, watches and cows. One of the more liberal politicians though had a nephew who worked at a PR bureau of some renown and asked for (well paid) advice.

The PR bureau put in months of work and came up with a campaign to get Switzerland known all over the world and the country’s economy blooming. The scope they came up with was mind blowing. The pitch went something like this:

“Everyone knows the moon being made out of cheese. That is a universal fact.”

The PR people continued – “Our task shall be to convince everybody that it is made of Swiss cheese. Not just any cheese – Swiss cheese” “We see a lot of potential in this.” “We shall put a man on the moon within the next decade – to prove it is made of pure Swiss cheese!”

The politicians looked at each other. Someone said – “We got the banks with all their money, we got the cows - and we know how to make cheese. Someone said – “Can we incorporate our watch industry into this? To get everybody onboard?”

The PR guys looked at each other and said that last part would not be easy but they could try.

Leap forward some years.

I guess you all know what happened. The US of A had picked up almost all the German rocket scientist after the war and conveniently found room for them within their own rocket program. Many of them had come thru the neutral Switzerland on their way to the US. Many of them had long relations to the Swiss. They formed a large contingent within what became NASA.

A large proportion of what NASA spent on the moon program actually came from Swiss bankers. They had the Kennedys on their payroll, they had the scientists, the astronauts, and they of course had the cows.

The rest is history. NASA went to the moon. The astronauts wore Swiss watches while they collected cheese samples from the moon’s surface. And you all know that – Neil "Gruyere" Armstrong’s words - “One small step for (a) man – a giant Swiss cheese for mankind” is forever etched into the minds of all humanity.

This being a watch site - a post would not be complete without a look at the back of the iconic LE Omega Cheesemaster: s most grail like interpretation – the extremely rare first prototype and misspelled “Cheesmaster”. The intention of the watch was to discretely commemorate the Swiss Cheese and watch industry’s roll in this giant PR scheme. The misspelling of “Cheesemaster” - though - forever giving Omega fan boys a hard cheese on.

The explanation to the red pentagram is connected to a much more sinister part of this story. It will be reviled in my post 4000.



Front side showing the blackened and aged cheese structure of the moon.

 

Since the Swiss, are the producers of Appenzeller cheese……I am a bit surprised, the Nation has never been, collectively charged with ‘Crimes against Humanity’

Any cheese that smells / tastes of a cold, waxy form of solidified vomit !…should be comprehensively outlawed, under the Geneva Convention !!

 

Now I have this urge for a Croutes aux fromage

 

I salute the makers of stinky cheese everywhere!

 

Brilliant!

 

Bon!

 

Can't wait to read post 4000! Will we learn about the chocolate conspiracy?

 

But it's not, and it never will be because where exactly, I ask you, might Geneva be....?

That's right. It's a conspiracy the scale of which has never been imagined.

 

I'll be counting down the minutes on my vintage Cheesemaster until the great 4000 post reveal!

(Note that mine is a 1916 trench version of the Cheesemaster, proof that even way back then, the Swiss were thinking ahead of their time).

 

Thought with the great butter shortage at the moment in Paris, cheese might be in a bit of a bubble right now.........

(You don't want a cheese bubble to burst on you.)

 

I’m hungry again. Raclette time.

 

FINALLY, I now know the provenance of this watch:

 

Wisconsin Cheese Heads please take note.....

 

This part does sound like what a politician would say

 

Having studied this in depth, I've come to two conclusions.

1. It's wrong, because everyone knows the moon is made of blue cheese and the Swiss don't make blue cheese

2. The Scandinavians have wåååååååy too much time, and possibly Akvavit, on their hands during the winter solstice.

 

What about Tobelerone? How could you forget Toblerone?, known to millions all over the world as Airport Chocolate.