Dumb American needs bidet advise

I'll do you one better. I was around 8 or 9, and typical of Indian families, we would always spend one of the holidays in India with the Grandparents. We would land in New Delhi and would spend a day or two visiting various relatives before catching the train to the hometown. I always detested the bathroom facilities in the train and so would refuse to eat the day before the ride.

One trip my mother chastised me and then asked, "well, what if you need to go, then what?". Being the dumbass junior Einstein that had just finished my studies for the day I apparently replied, "that's fine, I'll just hold it in till it turns from solid to gas". Yup, I clearly didn't understand phase changes, and I still don't hear the end of that story. 🙄

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