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Bless Your Heart

  1. BlackTalon

    BlackTalon Mar 4, 2016

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    Always get a chuckle out of this one. Pretty sure Bill would whisper it to Hillary whenever they encountered a less-then-attractive woman:

    "I would not (have sexual relations with) her with YOUR (penis)!
     
  2. Traveler

    Traveler Mar 4, 2016

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    :thumbsup:... That totally confused me when I first arrived in the US of A ... In England we only ever say 'couldn't care less', so when I first heard 'could care less', I was like 'wait, so you actually care? ::confused2::'
     
  3. Huus

    Huus Mar 4, 2016

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    In my job we often work in pairs. The phrase "great minds think alike" is often used when discussing the work to be done and agree on how to go about it. I am a carpenter by the way. Unfortunately "shitfurbrains" is never far away either.
    Regards.
     
  4. Time Exposure

    Time Exposure coordinates his cast with his car's paint job Mar 4, 2016

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    A couple others from Mom:
    When asked how she is doing, Mom will answer, "oh, fair to middling."
    When Mom doesn't care one way or another, it's "six of one, half a dozen the other."
    I read some "pet peeve" expressions and thought of a friend who passionately hated the saying, "it's the same difference."
     
  5. Huus

    Huus Mar 5, 2016

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    Another few from the building site.
    "He doesn't know shit from clay"
    and
    "he can't organise a fuck in a brothel with a fistful of fifty dollar notes".
    Regards.
     
  6. TLIGuy

    TLIGuy Mar 5, 2016

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    Probably more sage advice than anything else but in the immortal words of an old flight instructor....

    If it floats, flies, or F::censored::ks...Rent it!!
     
    Flingit1200s likes this.
  7. dennisthemenace

    dennisthemenace Hey, he asked for it! Mar 5, 2016

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    I may be drunk Madam, but you are ugly. I will be sober in the morning.
     
  8. danomar

    danomar Mar 5, 2016

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    That's harder than putting sock on a rooster!
     
  9. dennisthemenace

    dennisthemenace Hey, he asked for it! Mar 5, 2016

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    Madder than a box of frogs.
     
  10. STANDY

    STANDY schizophrenic pizza orderer and watch collector Mar 5, 2016

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    Going off like a frog in a sock.
     
  11. Canuck

    Canuck Mar 5, 2016

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    An old shop teacher of mine said that a hammer in the hands of a skilled technician is a precision instrument.
     
  12. Stewart H

    Stewart H Honorary NJ Resident Mar 5, 2016

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    One of me Dad's favourites:
    Shines like a tanner up a sweep's arse.

    For the non UK members (and even the UK members under a certain age) a tanner was the colloquial name for a six pence piece (which was silver in colour) and a sweep was a chimney sweep who used to send small children up a chimney to clean off the built up soot.

    Now you can use your imagination as to how shiny that might appear.
     
  13. 250scr

    250scr Mar 5, 2016

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    Straighter than a stack of dimes
     
  14. 250scr

    250scr Mar 5, 2016

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    There's two kinds of people in this world, weasels and
     
  15. 250scr

    250scr Mar 5, 2016

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    Weasel slappers.
     
  16. ahsposo

    ahsposo Most fun screen name at ΩF Mar 5, 2016

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    Nose out of joint
     
  17. 250scr

    250scr Mar 5, 2016

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    I've never landed with too much gas, unless the airplane's on fire.
     
  18. dialstatic

    dialstatic Mar 6, 2016

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    I've always liked "the lights are on but nobody's home". I find myself using it on surprisingly many occasions.
     
  19. STANDY

    STANDY schizophrenic pizza orderer and watch collector Mar 6, 2016

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    When I was younger we used to say

    "Keen as mustard " or "keen as"

    Now my nephews say

    "Mustard as" or "mustard"

    All due to
    image.jpeg
     
  20. Huus

    Huus Mar 6, 2016

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    Some more heard at work,
    "he's thick as a brick"
    "he's thick as two short planks"
    "he hasn't got two brain cells to rub together".
    Regards.